Tales from the Homeworld
by TFSyndicate
Summary: There are a gazillion gems and diamonds on the Gem Homeworld. These are just a few of them. (Oneshots set before/during/after various SU episodes)
1. Steven and Peridot prologue

"I want you to take this gem back to the Homeworld and un-bubble it when you get there."  
Steven handed the bubbled Jasper to a visiting Ruby he never met before-one working for the Blue Diamond.  
"Wait! Before I forget..."  
He suddenly popped the bubble, exposing the cracked gem to the outside world. He spit on the Jasper, healing it, then set in a new bubble.  
"Anything else?" said the Ruby.  
"You can have this for payment," said Steven, handing her a cookie cat, "It's food...you eat it."  
The Ruby was obliged and interested. She climbed into her roaming eye, which started up and took off for the Homeworld. As Steven looked up at the afternoon sky, waving goodbye, he went up to the boardwalk where Peridot was waiting.

"What was that all about?" Peridot queried.  
"That was one of Blue Diamond's Rubies," said Steven, "She was doing a routine inspection for stray gems needed back on Homeworld."  
"And you gave her _Jasper_?"  
"If Jasper is going to regenerate, let her do it in a place she's comfortable with. Besides, I don't think I'm ready to see her again. Maybe until she finally calls me 'Steven' and not 'Rose'."  
"Seems logical."

Steven and Peridot started to walk home to the temple.  
"Peridot, are there any other diamonds and gems we need to worry about?" asked Steven, "You know, besides Yellow and Blue Diamond?"  
"They have a diamond for nearly every color of the...uh...'rainbow', Steven. But only Yellow Diamond is a real threat to us. There are plenty of gems who have too much on their own hands to know or care about the status of Earth."  
"Have you ever thought about what goes on up there while we're down here?"  
"Hmmmmmmmmm..."


	2. Jasper's fate

The Ruby entrusted with bringing back the bubbled Jasper arrived safely on the Homeworld. She handed the Jasper to a waiting Peridot, who handed it to a Agate, then an Emerald, then a Sapphire, then another Ruby, and finally to the Yellow Diamond's Zircon. The Zircon carefully took the bubbled Jasped into the throne room where her boss, the Yellow Diamond, was waiting for her next appointment to begin (in a few Earth hours).  
"We recovered Jasper, my Diamond," said the Zircon.  
The Yellow Diamond turned to face Zircon and noticed the bubble.  
"Hmmm... It looks like Rose Quartz got to her," she said, "I'd recognize that bubble anywhere."  
"I've been told Rose Quartz turned it in to one of Blue Diamond's Rubies. It was cracked when it was first given, but then healed by Rose's healing powers before Ruby took off."  
"Ah yes, healing," said the Yellow Diamond, "The one thing Rose Quartzes were good for," she began to wonder if disposing of _all_ the Rose Quartzes was a good idea, "Very well: set her on the floor and un-bubble her."  
Zircon did as she was told. The bubble popped, Jasper began to levitate, glow, and assume a humanoid form. The traces of corruption, however, were still notable. Jasper looked at herself, then up at the Yellow Diamond.  
"Welcome back, Jasper," said the Yellow Diamond, "What happened with your encounter with Rose Quartz?"  
Jasper flinched at hearing the last two words of the spoken sentence.  
"KILL! ROSE!" she said, deadly and gravely.  
"Ugh. You're corrupted! How did _that_ happen?"  
"Does Rose Quartz have the power to corrupt?" asked Zircon.  
"Nothing that hasn't been documented," said the Diamond, aside to Zircon, "My guess is she came in contact with a corrupt gem during a battle."  
"Should've have those corrupted gems shattered in the first place."  
"You think?"

The gems turned back to the animate Jasper, running rampant around the room yelling "KILL! ROSE! KILL! ROSE! KILL! ROSE!"  
The Yellow Diamond yelled "Jasper" and the orange corrupt gem stopped in her tracks.  
"I appreciate and share your disdain in Rose Quartz, but don't you think you're taking it a little too far?"  
Jasper's voice only became more and more deeper, "KILL! ROSE! KILL! ROSE!"  
"(sigh) This is ridiculous, even for me," said the Yellow Diamond, looking at a watch, "Zircon, take Jasper to a maximum-security cell. We'll deal with her later."  
"What about you?"  
"I have to go interview more replacements for Pink Diamond."  
The Yellow Diamond pressed her giant hand down on Jasper, poofing her. Zircon picked up the poofed gem and quickly headed for the appropriate area.

Re-formed and locked in, Jasper is armed only with a crayon. Her sleeves were attached-sewn-to her top, rendering her arms unable to move. She spent most of the time in her cell using her feet. The crayon lodged between her toes, she kept writing KILL ROSE over and over again all over the walls of the room. And there she remained, never to be disturbed again.


	3. Aquamarines playing hooky

There is a lounge above the docking bay at the Homeworld's zoo. This is where the Aquamarines and Topazes standby, awaiting lists of humans to "collect" for the zoo, written by the Peridots and assigned by the Agate in charge of the area-Sky Blue Agate.  
These Aquamarines weren't stupid. They knew their human culture from studying the humans in the zoo, going through the various items they've confiscated, and what they've witnessed from previous visits to Earth. They knew about how humans use names to differentiate themselves from one another, which in some Aquamarines' opinions, is a much easier concept compared to the Homeworld's Facet-and-Cut numbering system. Some Aquamarines have modified their appearances to look-wardrobe wise-more like their human captives so as not to appear inconspicuous during their next rounds. But even so, their blueness is a dead giveaway.  
There are three Aquamarines worth focusing on: One with a gem on her left hand-we'll call her "Lefty"; One has her gem on her upper back-she's "Backbone"; One whose gem dangles loosely from her left ear..."Earring".

We join these Aquamarines seated around a table, 'messing around' with a deck of playing cards they confiscated from their last human. It was Earring's turn to set a pair of two cards together to form another portion of the card house they were assembling. They were otherwise bored out of their gemstones.  
"When's Sky Blue Agate coming with the next batch of lists?" said Lefty.  
"Any time now," said Backbone.  
Earring said nothing, busy trying to keep her cards standing upright.  
"Aw man, I really wanna go to Earth _so bad_ this time," complained Lefty.  
Backbone's turn done, Earring picked up two more cards and went into silence so as to maintain a steady hand.  
"We'll get our chance," Backbone assured.  
"But can we go to Earth, _for once_ , just for fun? I mean without a list of humans to round up?"  
Earring, startled at what Lefty was saying, made one bad move, causing the house of cards to collapse on the table.  
"You can't seriously be suggesting..."  
"Yeah!" said Lefty, "Let's take the day off!"  
"And how're we supposed to pull _that_ off?" queried Backbone.  
"Simple!" Lefty explained, "We'll just wait for Sky Blue Agate to show up with the lists, and act like we're going to gather some humans, only to give our list to a least-suspecting Aquamarine on our way out, leaving us free to go wherever we want!"  
"Hmmm..." said Backbone, "Gears are turning up here! I like where this is going..."

Before Backbone could finish her thought, leaving room for Earring to say something, Sky Blue Agate arrived with another stack of lists..this stack smaller than the usual batch.  
"All right, Aquamarines," said Agate, "We have fewer lists than usual today, so some of you will need to pair up with others."  
Lefty, Backbone and Earring were first in line. They took the first list from the top of the stack, stepped aside, and looked at it. A whole slew of human names, complete with the Facet-and-Cut number from the Peridot who compiled it, and a signature from the Yellow Diamond, rendering it official. The three Aquamarines couldn't help but laugh.  
"HA! Amateur hour!" said Backbone, "Looks like _this_ Peridot flunked out of humanology!"  
"I know, right?" said Earring, "What kind of human would name himself..." she peered over at the list Backbone was holding, "'My-Dad', 'Mailman' or 'Onion-I-think'?"  
Then it was Lefty's turn to look, "At least she knows her geography. Lookit that: 'Beach City, DelMarVa'."  
"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Lefty and Earring nodded at Backbone, "Let's dump this lamely-compiled list on the lamest Aquamarine we know, and take off on our own!"  
The three Aquamarines turned to the Aquamarine in question: the last one in line, the one with a teardrop-shaped gem below her left eye.  
"What? 'Teardrop'?" queried Lefty, "That one doesn't know Mongolia from Magnolia," she paused, " _This_ should be fun!"

Backbone approached Teardrop, trying to look as sincere as gemly possible.  
"I don't wanna make my fellow Aquamarine feel left out," said Backbone, "Here."  
Teardrop took the list and studied it, while Backbone crossed her fingers.  
"Hmm..." said Teardrop, "'My-Dad', Connie, 'Lars-and-Sadie', Mailman, 'Onion-I-think'...Beach City, DelMarVa, Compiled by Peridot 5XG, signed Yellow Diamond...watch out for 'Crystal Gems'...I'll do it!"  
Teardrop's wings fluttered into action, and set off to find a Topaz or two. As soon as she left the room, Backbone, Lefty and Earring joined each other and jumped up and down.  
"YEAH! She bought it! She bought it!" they squealed.  
"Can you imagine the look on her face when she realizes there's no such human named 'My-Dad'?" laughed Earring.  
"All right," said Lefty, "Let's get outta here before somebody gets wise!"  
And they did.

As for Teardrop...well...if you've seen "Are You My Dad", then you know the rest.


	4. Left in Charge

**This should answer how the White Diamond's Pearl got cracked.**

* * *

As much as they didn't want to, the Yellow Diamond knocked on the door of the White Diamond's quarters, the Blue Diamond right beside her.  
Despite reluctance on her part, the White Diamond answered.

"Something's wrong with the Cluster, we're gonna go check on it," said the Yellow Diamond, "You wanna come?"  
"Hmmm..." thought the White Diamond, "Nah. As much as I'd like to see the Earth out of the picture, like you, three diamonds at once might accidentally throw the Earth out of orbit."  
"She's got a point there," said the Blue Diamond.  
"Right. Let's go," said Yellow.

They turned to leave, but the White Diamond made a noise, advising them to turn back in her direction.  
"I've been thinking about the Rose Quartz thing as much as you," she said, "Your Zircons are right; something doesn't add up."  
"Really?" queried the Yellow Diamond, "Then what do _you_ think happened?"  
"Well, there's always a possibility that...Rose Quartz and Pink Diamond are...one and the same."  
The other Diamonds were befuzzled. But then their faces changed to one of disbelief.  
"Think about it. Us Diamonds don't shatter that easily. For all we know, those Pink Diamond shards aren't _our_ Pink Diamond's!"  
"You're putting us on," exclaimed the Yellow Diamond.  
"What makes you think we'd believe everything you say?" said the Blue Diamond.  
"Hey, I'm a Diamond, just like you!" said the White Diamond, "Besides, there's 20 big ones in it if you prove me wrong!"  
The Yellow Diamond thought about it for a minute.  
"Okay, you're on. 20 big ones. C'mon, Blue."

They turn to leave once again. But this time, it's the Yellow Diamond who decides to turn around back to White.  
"You do know what this means, right?" She said.  
The White Diamond shook her head,  
"We're leaving _you_ in charge of Homeworld while we're gone. That means this place should be the same as it is now by the time we get back. Also, keep an eye on your Pearl, cause we don't have any healers since we poofed and bubbled all our Rose Quartzes. The _last_ thing we want to see is our fellow diamond's pearl's gem cracked."  
"...Sure," said the White Diamond.  
Now the Blue Diamond had something to ask.  
"Do you need us to get you anything while we're out?"  
"Get me a pizza." All aliens _love_ their pizza.  
"All right. Bye."

This time, the Yellow and Blue Diamonds were gone for good.  
"They're gone, My Diamond," White Pearl confirmed.  
"Very good," said the remaining Diamond, "Pearl, you know of that turntable we confiscated from one of the Zoo humans?"  
The pearl nodded.  
"I think it's time to test it out."

The pearl ran off to retrieve the desired device. The White Diamond pulled out a staff from her gem. Her pearl came back, and turned it on. A "record" was already inside, and it began to play. The White Diamond started to sing into her staff as if it was a microphone.  
 _Just take those old records off the shelf  
I'll sit and listen to 'em by myself  
Today's music ain't got the same soul  
I like that old time rock 'n' roll!_


End file.
